Violence on men
Continued from page 14
home from work. She tells Wayne she wants
him to leave because she has the right to "a
better life."
Wayne has become thin and gaunt due to
loss of appetite and sleep. He considers him-
self a failure rather than an abused man.
Angela is far from angelic in her treatment
of Kent. The best friend of Angela's former
husband, Kent has always loved her. He was
there to care for Angela when she had a break-
down after her husband divorced her to marry
another woman and used her collapse to gain
custody of their son.
Kent was thrilled when Angela agreed to
marry him. They have an expensive home and
'p with house and yard chores. They travel
trequently. Kent "takes it" when Angela vents
her rage on him. She castrates him verbally
usually followed by pounding with her fists,
slaps and kicks.
"You are nothing like my father. Marrying
you is the worst mistake of my life," Joan yells
at David. There are frequent outbursts usually
during the few precious hours David tries to
sleep between his full-time night job and part-
time morning job.
The couple' s young children race through
• the house, in and out of David's bedroom,
squealing, fighting and
slamming doors as they go.
Joan is usually talking to /
her mother by phone during
the children's wild esca-
pades. David's sleep time is
also when she does the vacu-
uming and laundry.
David is thin and edgy
from lack of sleep. He has
received several written warnings at
work. He may lose the job where he
started as a laborer and was rapidly
promoted to supervisor for his superior
performance.
All of these men are abused, but not
one of them has ever called the police,
contacted a shelter or joined a support
group. Not one of these men and many
thousands like them has ever become a
statistic. Their undocumented abuse is
suffered alone until, as a society, we
can tell them it's OK to yell "help."
"No to Abuse" recognizes that men,
too, need help. The agency encourages
men to contact them at 751-1118. There
is a volunteer facilitator and a small
support group of men who meet regu-
laxly.
No matter who the perpetrator is 9 r
who the victim is, we need to know:
"There is no excuse for abuse."
Whe're does the violence and abuse
end? Unhappily, aging is not the key to
relief. Elder abuse is a national prob-
lem and is increasing. Elder abuse is
the topic of IN FOCUS next week.
Gazette, ,Thursday, June 5, 1997 19
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