6 Thursday. FebruaCy 20. 1997 Pahrunip €'diiy Gazeite"
----'T+
For Sale: Giant roto-rooter
The U.S. Department of Energy, better known by its DOE initials,
has put its million dollar tunnel-boring machine, better known as the
"Yucca Mucker," on the block for sale to the highest bidder.
The slightly-used mining mole is presently being used to excavate a
five-mile-long tunnel through Yucca Mountain in the heart of Nye
County to allow scientists to determine the suitability of the desert site
as the nation's first high-level nuclear waste dump for the next 10,000
years or until such time
as some yet-to-be born
genius figures out what
to do with the radioac-
tive hot stuff.
Ordered back in 1994,
the rare, one-of-its kind
720-ton, 460-feet-long "Yucca Mucker" has been carefully maintained
at great taxpayer expense since it was delivered, also at great expense,
from the factory in Kent, Washington.
All interested bidders should contact Jack Scroggs at the GSA, (415)
522-2809 for a test drive. Revenues derived from the sale of the surplus
equipment will be returned to the Nuclear Waste Fund, an $11 billion
kitty procured from the utility bills of nuclear rate payers mostly from
states east of the Mississippi River. The interest-bearing fund was
established in 1962 when Congress passed the original Nuclear Waste
Policy.
The horseshoe.shaped 25-foot wide tunnel carved by the boring
machine should be completed by next month to give government
scientists a deeper look at the volcanic rock that has to shield people and
the environment from the deadly nuclear wastes. When its job is done,
the custom-built "Yucca Mucker" officially becomes government sur-
plus property.
Wouldn't it be something if the Nye County Commissioners decided
to purchase the Mucker? How about with PETT funds yet?
What would they use it for? Well, properly outfitted with lights it
would be the damndest Sheriff's car on the highway.
Cam the Garbage Man could sure use it to bore holes into Charleston
to hide his garbage.
Carver could use it to open a new road.
Talk about boring a hole in the budget, eh?
e --- and then some
If they weren't in enough trouble already,
e Army has taken an unprecedented action
by suspending its top-ranking enlisted man
pending the outcome of an investigation of
that the top sarge sexually harassed a
subordinate, also a six-striper.
Army brass said the allegations against Ser,
C. McKinney made it diffi,
cult to function in his official capacity, Bill
Offutt. Nye's ex,county manager was accused
V' ..... "
of ha mg committed multiple acts of sexual harassment with several
female county employees, was ousted from his job as the county's chief
" " " C
adnnmstratlve offi er,
The still.pending multi.million dollar lawsuit names cerin Nye
County Commissioners, current county manager Les Bradshaw and
his scial assistant Rachel Nicholson, terminated from her former
position as a deputy district attorney, as defendants in the federal
lawsuit, They are all being sued both personally and in their official
county capacities,
The Army's Uniform Ce of Military Justice differs from civil law
in that the accused is presumed guilty until proven innocent rather
an the other way around:
I Ill II[lll I I I I I
Did 9
you
know •
Physician Heal Thyself--
IRS should do same
IT SEEMS THAT it happens every year just around tax season, that
taxpayers get another reminder of the incompetence of the very agency
of government that is about to take a big bite out of our pocketbooks.
It was just a couple of years ago, the General Accounting office
issued a report showing that the Internal Revenue Service, those not
always friendly folks at the IRS, had such an unreliable and antiquated
accounting and collection process that it was unable to get the $130
billion it was owed in back taxes, it failed to respond to fraudulent
filings and it did not properly record taxpayer records.
After that somewhat embarrassing revelation, you would think big
brother would have cleaned up the act. Not so. Just last week news
broke that the IRS spent some $4 billion of our tax money on computer
systems that don't work in the real world. Move over County Manager
Les Bradshaw, you ain't the only one to be accused of having made a
bad computer deal with taxpayer money.
Electron|c |3ling of tax returns, my CPA tells me, would solve part
of the problem, since IRS clerks would not have to transfer data from
paper to computer information as they now do with the printed tax
forms. But the IRS has been slow to promote electronic filing,
Nobody likes taxes, but seems to me, the feds could at least collect
them in a fair, polite and somewhat efficient manner. Never did expect
them to smile or say thank you, but it would be nice.
|
IT WAS CALLED SLANG back when I was a kid. Today, the word
ain't is
version o!
From what I've read the current movement got started over in
Northern California when the school board there voted to include the
hip-street slang as part of the official school curriculum. That touched
off a storm of public controversy, pro and con, that spread like
wildf'tre all the way to L.A.
That's what it be like, ya know.
sure
Target
by Joe Richards
from the
Kingdom of Nye
Whether you
hate him or love
him, he won't let
you ignore him!
For years doctors have been
trying tokeep their high-strung
patients from drinking coffee,
especially caffeinated coffee:
Now a study has come out that
says women who drink it com-
mit suicide less often.
A ten year study of 86,626
nurses between the ages of 30
and 59 found that among those
who drank two to three cups of
caffeinated coffee a day the sui-
cide r'-t was less than half when
compared to the rate of those
who said they never drank cof-
fee.
What does this prove? Who
knows? Or, maybel who cares?
What I'd really like to know
who pays for these stupid stud-
ies?
Life-sal,4,00r
Deputy Doug Doyle, of Phoenix, AZ, found a
reason to keep on working at a hard job with a
lot of pain and not enough rewards. With the
help of a civilian, Doyle rescued a newborn baby
out of a septic tank, where the child had been left
for dead by its mother. The seven-pound baby
was in good condition at the
